A War of Words

Tempus Fugit

Where has the time gone?

That is the question I find myself asking most anymore.  Five years ago, I began to dedicate myself to my occupation more so than to my personal goals and ambitions.  I grabbed my ambition, my dreams, by their horns and wrenched.  The horns of the beast were steered in a new direction but the neck of that beast snapped.

I had my blinders on.  I could not see the damage.

Five years later, I realize I have been going forward only on momentum.  Sometimes, momentum is all we have.  But without passion, without those dreams, without love and interest, we are more likely to fail.

I am failing now.  So, where has the time gone?

There were some positive results.  Doors did open.  Many more opportunities arose.  I climbed up the ladder.  Money improved.  Five years later, I can afford to live on my own in one of the richest counties in the United States.  I learned a good deal more about business in general.

More noticeable, naturally, are the negatives.  We humans tend to remember the negatives more.  I have not honestly loved my occupation in nearly five years.  I have had to give hours and hours of my personal life over to the job.  Social life dwindled.  Each day began to resemble every other.  My passion for life died off.  I lost my way.

My writing, one of my great loves, failed.

I realize I have not been moving forward.  I have been running in place.

What to do?  What to do?

A couple months ago, I began taking career placement tests.  Maybe I was just in the wrong field.  Maybe there is something I can do, where I am, to reawaken that passion.  I have taken the strengths finder tests.  I also paid for the Kolbe tests.  The results were pretty clear:  my personality and strengths lend well to the entrepreneurial path.

The very idea of following that path was exciting.  There is a part of me that held back because of the excitement.  The part of me that fears that the change is what is exciting, not the destination itself.  So, despite a number of early ideas for startups, I have held off.

It is time to make that change though.  It is past time to find my passion again and, finally, to follow it to wherever it leads.